Morbid Dreams

Shadows move along my walls,
A gentle breeze sways movement from outside.
A glint of moonlight that catches my attention.
I turn over catching that which i need most.

A thousand thoughts run through a tired mind
A million reasons that keep me awake.
I bury my head under the sheets.
But my attempts prove to be futile.

Sleep escapes me tonight...

My mind racing but my body can't keep up.
Soon, my mind fades into a subconsious lull.
I drift into a most needed slumber.
But my mind has not finished its tribulations.

Vivid images flash through, plunging my very psyche.
3AM, Message recieved...
Death on a most unholy hour.
Name plays over and over...

A burning light from behind hinders my deprived eyes.
Still tight from the lack of sleep they struggle.
A bright orange luminiscence keeps my vision blurred.
Then darkness once again and I weep

I mumble a name as if to say goodbye.
A glint of that a familiar orange light reappears.
Sadness seeps in deeper still.
And I wake...

I check my phone.
No remnants of the memories that passed.
A dream. Just a dream.
A warning? Could be.

This night, I dreamt of death.
Today, I live a life with a warning of death...
But not of mine.

Rockstar by Nickelback

I’m through with standing in line
to clubs we’ll never get in
It’s like the bottom of the ninth
and I’m never gonna win
This life hasn’t turned out
quite the way I want it to be

I want a brand new house
on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
for ten plus me

I’ll need a credit card that’s got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair and change my name

‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ‘cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free

I think I’m gonna dress my ass
with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
blow my money for me

I’m gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair
And change my name

‘Cause we all just
wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses
driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and
the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny
‘cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
with her bleach blond hair
And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a
drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I’m gonna sing those songs
that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
from a pez dispenser
When they ask why I drink all day
I’ll say because I can

I’ll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong
Then listen to the fans tell me how damn good I am

I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair and change my name

Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hillltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ‘cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there
Every playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair
And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

New Year, New Start...

Hmmm... 2006 has rolled in...

Things to be thankful for in 2005:

- being an engineer
- passing the board exam
- graduating
- getting a new car
- being able to teach in my alma mater
- still having my high school friends
- having a loving family
- having the luxury of buying at least some of the things i want
- always having food on the table
- being able to play poker with my friends
- being able to stay connected with the friends i forgot i had
- not having to live a day wondering how to survive
- still being able to be man enough to say sorry to my mom after a big fight
- having my loving parents proud of me
- having my parents
- and last but not least, simply being alive and well...

Things to change (or at least try to... hehe)

- cut down smoking
- not to stay up late all the damn time
- leave procrastination in the past
- be patient
- be more frugal with my money
- not to be so elitist


2006 here i come... hahaha!