Singapore

What’s the best thing about traveling? Is it the sights you see? The people you meet? For me it’s the totality of the experience. It’s not what you do, but how you do it that matters.

On the flight to Singapore, one of the things I’ve notice that I never did before was the simple awe that struck me when I saw the clouds. Imagine tufts of cotton with light seemingly emanating from within. I know that the radiance of the clouds is caused by the suns reflections. However, the beauty of the clouds from that vantage point was just majestic. It was as if a bomb was set off and time was set a stand still.

Rolling mounds of pure white only defaced by its own shadows with the radiance of the heavens pouring forth from its very core. As far as my eye could see, just mountains of pure white as if God has given us a glimpse of heaven. Though these reflections of simple perfection seem to solidify grace and beauty, we pass through it with no evidence of disturbance. It was as if perfection can never be touched by us mere humans.

This epiphany of beauty transcends all the beauty that has graced my presence with my feet on the ground. Flying is a high on its own. To reflect on such beauty and serenity leaves one with a sense of peace and tranquility as the plane passes hill by hill of subtle perfection.

What has been the most memorable part of this trip been thus far? The trip getting to my destination. Like I said, it’s not about the people you meet or the things you do. It’s the way you experience things that matter. The best thing about it was the mere simplicity of enjoying what is around us. Somehow, the most mundane act of looking out the window can throw into action a world of possibilities. Let your imagination take the trip with you and I guarantee a lifetime of memories that are like no other.

I’m still in Singapore as I write this and it seems that this trip has yet to show me what else lies in wait. You can’t help but wonder what other beauties lie beyond our reach. This is the question that hangs me by the seat of my chair yet leaves me smiling knowing that I have just experienced a small sliver of such blissful perfection.

What else lies in wait? I can only hope to see more things that inspire such intrepid eloquence. All along I thought that my muse for my recent diatribe of emotions would be by way of a woman. Oh how wrong I have been. There really is more to this life than what we give it credit for. Whatever that may be is up to each of us to find out.

Malaysia

I wait in anticipation as we land, away from the window without any clue. My surroundings remain anonymous to my senses. I grab my bag and walk down the ramp. Finding my way to immigration, I am greeted by a grumpy Malaysian. Not that I wouldn’t be either. Its 1030 in the evening and I’m still at work, I’d surely be grumpy as well. Finally I make my way out the airport. Like any inexperienced tourist I find myself at a loss for actions. The taxis seemed to be taking a queue. I inquire my way around and finally get into a taxi.

Finally, I’m on my way to the hotel. The roads look pretty much like a collage of Metro Manila. One minute I’m in Commonwealth, the next in the districts of Binondo and then in the suburbs of Alabang. All these places holding their own taste of home in bits and pieces within a 20 minute span.

Aah, my hotel at last. I check in and go up to my room. For the first time, I have a hotel room all to my own. However, unlike my previous trips abroad, I don’t have my dad’s wallet to keep me alive. So this time around, I have to be a tad more frugal.

I realize how much the flight to Malaysia has worn me out and my body clamors for some rest. But to my delight I find out that I’m on a smoking floor! Woo – pee – doo! I can smoke! Haha! I finally get myself to bed after a very relaxing warm dip in the bathtub. This bathtub thing has turned into quite a ritual every time I travel.

Sleep calls to me, hence I answer. Oh wait, i need to wake up early the next day. A quick call to the concierge assures me that I will wake up on time for an early start the next day. A quick smoke and slumber takes over soon after.

730 AM. The phone rings just on time for my wake up call. I do my morning thing and start to get ready. This is when I realize the biggest mistake I’ve made thus far. I didn’t bring a belt for my formal clothes. Good thing my shirt was red so the belt kinda matched. Although the belt was meant for casual and not formal wear. But nonetheless, I wear it and make my way out of the hotel. Outside I’m greeted by the Malaysian sun. I breathe in and smile at the prospect of a new day in different country. But first things first, I need my breakfast. Unfortunately, not much choicess lie in wait around the hotel. I end up eating in some Indian diner. BIG EFFIN MISTAKE.

It just so happens that Indians don’t just look dirty, some of them really are. Have they even heard of the concept of hygiene?? I mean who serves you a hard boiled egg with their bare hands? Damn. Good thing the curry was pretty good. So much for my first meal. At the back of my head, I feared only one thing. That my breakfast will agree with my stomach long enough for me to get back to the hotel.

I board a taxi and make my way to my training. Turns out I was half an hour early. First impressions last. Finally some of the other FAE’s from different distributors arrive, including my Malaysian counterpart in Ultro. To my big surprise, I realize I forgot one more thing. In all my excitement to leave, I had forgotten to bring a universal adapter for the laptop, my phone and iPOD charger. ARG!

I survive my training and end it with a fucked up presentation of a demo board that I hurriedly made a day before I left. Shit happens I guess. I finish what I came to do and make my way out. Need to go to the bank and get more money for tomorrow’s check out. I walk for 20 minutes in one direction until I finally land a taxi. I get on and find a bank. HSBC comes into view and I get out. I smile even more as I see that they have the Cirrus / Maestro icons that I very much needed to get my money. I do my thing and proceed. Then as if things can’t go wrong, well, it did. Turns out the money deposited into my account was deposited as a check. Meaning, I needed 3 days for that fucking check to clear. Godammit. I make some calls back home to find a way to pay for my hotel. We figure something out and hope for the best tomorrow morning.

So I catch another taxi and find my way back into the hotel. I take a breather and watch a little TV and finally get myself back into the tub for another relaxing dip. After which I go back down and look for something to eat.

My only beef with Malaysia? I can’t fucking understand their menus! I eventually end up in another Indian diner after walking around for half an hour. And guess what?? The fucking Bombay picked up the chicken I pointed out with hi bare hands. Clap for Mico the genius. I eat anyway, pay and go back to the hotel.

Aaah, finally some more rest. I watch a little TV, do a little accounting of all my expenditures and here I am typing this in sheer boredom. If you ask me how the TV programming here is, well let me put it this way. Would I be writing this if it were any good?

First Time Again

To close my eyes with such sweet memories,
Sweet torture it brings as I bask in the moment.
Thoughts run through me in a quick yet lingering stage
Nothing else would seem to matter in the end.

An absence that cuts deeper than any knife I know
A longing that only you can appease.
I try in vain to steer my mind clear,
all is in naught as you conquer my thoughts.

As everything else that is you floods in,
I feel what I used to feel for the first time again.
I realize that this is nothing new to me,
Yet I have forgotten how it used to feel.

The bitter sweet irony of it all keeps fear and joy close.
The uncertainty of where I stand looms above.
But in the midst of all the confusion,
I smile at the thought of what could be...

To be falling all over again.

Morbid Dreams

Shadows move along my walls,
A gentle breeze sways movement from outside.
A glint of moonlight that catches my attention.
I turn over catching that which i need most.

A thousand thoughts run through a tired mind
A million reasons that keep me awake.
I bury my head under the sheets.
But my attempts prove to be futile.

Sleep escapes me tonight...

My mind racing but my body can't keep up.
Soon, my mind fades into a subconsious lull.
I drift into a most needed slumber.
But my mind has not finished its tribulations.

Vivid images flash through, plunging my very psyche.
3AM, Message recieved...
Death on a most unholy hour.
Name plays over and over...

A burning light from behind hinders my deprived eyes.
Still tight from the lack of sleep they struggle.
A bright orange luminiscence keeps my vision blurred.
Then darkness once again and I weep

I mumble a name as if to say goodbye.
A glint of that a familiar orange light reappears.
Sadness seeps in deeper still.
And I wake...

I check my phone.
No remnants of the memories that passed.
A dream. Just a dream.
A warning? Could be.

This night, I dreamt of death.
Today, I live a life with a warning of death...
But not of mine.

Rockstar by Nickelback

I’m through with standing in line
to clubs we’ll never get in
It’s like the bottom of the ninth
and I’m never gonna win
This life hasn’t turned out
quite the way I want it to be

I want a brand new house
on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
for ten plus me

I’ll need a credit card that’s got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair and change my name

‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ‘cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free

I think I’m gonna dress my ass
with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
blow my money for me

I’m gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair
And change my name

‘Cause we all just
wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses
driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and
the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny
‘cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
with her bleach blond hair
And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a
drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I’m gonna sing those songs
that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
from a pez dispenser
When they ask why I drink all day
I’ll say because I can

I’ll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong
Then listen to the fans tell me how damn good I am

I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair and change my name

Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hillltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ‘cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there
Every playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair
And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

New Year, New Start...

Hmmm... 2006 has rolled in...

Things to be thankful for in 2005:

- being an engineer
- passing the board exam
- graduating
- getting a new car
- being able to teach in my alma mater
- still having my high school friends
- having a loving family
- having the luxury of buying at least some of the things i want
- always having food on the table
- being able to play poker with my friends
- being able to stay connected with the friends i forgot i had
- not having to live a day wondering how to survive
- still being able to be man enough to say sorry to my mom after a big fight
- having my loving parents proud of me
- having my parents
- and last but not least, simply being alive and well...

Things to change (or at least try to... hehe)

- cut down smoking
- not to stay up late all the damn time
- leave procrastination in the past
- be patient
- be more frugal with my money
- not to be so elitist


2006 here i come... hahaha!

Engineer Mico

Woohoo! After 6 months of intense studying I finally passed the board!!

You may now acknowledge me as Engr. Mico.... hehehehe!! What a relief! whew!!!

Wish Me Luck!

Board Exams are coming up... November 5 & 6... despite having been studying for a good 2 months now, i still feel like i have a lot to re-learn...

and that is the biggest reason why I have not posted any new material. If i did, it would probably be formulas from all the topics I have been reviewing... hahaha!

So i guess my parting words for now would be, until my exams are over, this blog would remain stagnant. But pls do read my previous posts if you are a newbie...Ü

Wish Me Luck... I hope i do well this November...

Whisper

A hush of a whisper pierces the silence
Feel the blood rush into your face...
A sensory overload invades the calm,
As if electricity hung on to air.

Stares reach nothing else but limpid pools,
Trying all but looking away, you realize...
Trapped in a bliss of dreams
Seeking no escape from such sweet rapture.

A jolt back to reality hits with adamant clarity,
but nothing will ever change that effervescent moment.
Where a mere whisper becomes a resonant memory.
But we all know its not the whisper that matters...

But what was whispered...

Dream

Do you dream like I do?
Wide awake driving down a road
Perfectly aware yet your mind lingers.
The gas revs up unnoticed…

Cars pass me just like the thoughts that flutter by.
Images that change like the tides.
Awake yet away at the same time…
Can you dream like I do?

Eyes are open yet you see something else.
Stop light changes from red to green…
Instinct kicks in without me thinking.
I realize I let my mind wander again.

Do you dream like I do?

Captured

I steal a glance as you sit beside me,
In all your radiant glow I feel nothing else.

Your soothing voice is all I care to hear.
A glimpse of a smile is all that it takes.

This time, in a moment of clarity,
All that I want and need sits right beside me.

But nothing is all I can do as my mind races.
A million thoughts but capturing none…

Words escape your lips as it simply ravages me.
Once again you ensnare me in the rapture of your presence.

I am all but a boy, withered by such beauty.
Lost in your eyes, simply wishing you were mine...

Despair

A silent tear runs down,
As I see you walk away.

A smile becomes a frown,
‘coz I know you won’t stay.

My heart grows heavy,
Thinking you’d never see.

My sobs grow steady,
Knowing we will never be…

Falling

Late at night I lie alone,
Thinking as I watch the stars.
In my mind I see you smile,
And my heart jumps a little too far.
I long for the warmth that you bring
I long for just a glimpse of you.
And just a glance of you smiling back
Gets me thinking that it might be you.
As I close my eyes, I find myself dreaming.
Wishing that this were true.
If you only knew the truth…

That I was falling for you…

Kiss

Withering the silence with fumbling words,
If only to break the uncomfortable wall.
Finding nothing else in all your senses,
With numbing logic, reasoning falls.

Incumbent dreams that taint the truth,
Eternity clings on each second passed.
Incoherent words that form a sentence,
Fear then feeds on such sweet repast.

Sweaty palms invade the calmness,
Revoking peace, a heart beats faster.
In all the mental anguish sweet sorrow brings,
You find all reason that your mind can muster.

An admirable boldness moves your hand,
Anticipation sending a flurry through your head.
And in a second, her silky touch pokes through.
Nerves run wild, an inhibition dead.

A stolen moment in the bliss of time,
The world slows down and fades away.
Undulating hearts that beat in tune,
Their lips give meaning to what words can’t say…

Unspoken

I think it’s obvious to everyone else but you,
Making it harder to let u know of what I feel.
Even as I allow myself to get mesmerized in your gaze,
Still I find no solitude,
as all that I am yearns nothing else but to speak.

To speak in words where no words have gone,
A language spoken in simple silence.
And yet as I try to break away from my stupor,
I’m left utterly dumbstruck
For in your eyes, I’m simply lost.

I lose all control and fall into a downward spiral.
All poise and grace thrown out the window.
But even amidst the chaos, I remain stoic.
I hide not only the confusion in me,
But I hide my truest desire…

All I know and all that I am point to one singular fact
That somehow someway, whenever however
I would want nothing else more,
Than to experience life with you by my side.
Nothing else seems so clear as that.

Change

Days of woe and grief go by,
Wreaking havoc as people die.
Tainted blood shed for thirst,
Twisted souls led to darkness first.
Clamors of pain pierce the night,
As hell releases all its might.
Tears unseen wept to bleed,
Soon the dark would lack in need.
Masks of deceit worn to seek truth,
Ends of darkness, false lies will soothe
The mind is hungry for truth, the heart for love
Winds of change thus frees the dove…

Release

Her eyes weakened by age,
Her health slowly waning away.
Seeing no more than shadows,
We fear of losing her day after day.
She moans in agony,
To try to soothe the pain
But to no avail, she suffers tacitly
Our pity in vain
Sleep becomes a friend in this painful world
As consciousness brings all of hell unfurled.
No more do we wish that she bounce back
In this pitiful state where peace she lacks.
Now death looms while we wait,
In hope for her peace.
No longer a loss of life,
But from pain, it is a release…

This is dedicated to my grandmother who died several years back. May her soul be at peace...